Everyone’s personality is different, and you may genuinely be a warm, caring, fun-loving person. This trait will serve you well in casual pickup games and with others who enjoy playing your sport mainly for fun. Getting along with others is important. Your enjoyment of sports will increase through the satisfaction gained from being part of a community that shares similar bonds.
Understand, however, that many of your teammates and opponents are different than you and will take advantage of opportunities that provide them with a competitive edge. They may innately be more competitive, self-centered, or win- oriented. Their values and reasons for playing the game may vary from yours. Their approach isn’t necessarily good or bad, but is different, and you must account for it.
Also, as the competition level increases, you must expect others to have a more competitive attitude. It’s not uncommon at higher levels for the best players to play with a “nasty streak.” With otherwise pleasant personalities, they give no quarter when competing.
If you tend to be too nice and always give-in to others, try to find the middle ground, and assert yourself more to gain the respect of your teammates and competitors. When you’re playing in competitive, organized games, understand that you may need to play with a more “selfish” attitude. If your teammates see you unnecessarily giving in to an opponent and not standing up for yourself, you will quickly lose their respect. Your teammates do not want to lose because you’re afraid to claim what is rightfully yours.
In team practices or “friendly” pickup games, try to quickly assess your opponent and determine their personality type and how they are going to play the game. If your teammate or friend is competitive, he or she may slightly bend the rules or make questionable calls to gain an advantage. Don’t accept this abuse. Instead, match your opponent’s competitiveness and “name their sins” as they occur. By aggressively challenging these individuals, they will often back down and you will transform your game into one of pure competition.
Sometimes, the most satisfying, intense moments in sport come when you play with an aggressive edge—it brings out the best in both you and your competitor. You can still be nice, but understand that it’s all right for you to compete.
Copyright 2009-2012 Jeffrey S. Rhoads; All Rights Reserved
2 comments:
I am curious about what players refer to as the killer instinct - for example the ability to sense when a player is beatable and when to step up the intensity to finish the point/game. Do you think kids are born with this ability, or have you seen it develop in kids you have coached?
Good question - maybe one better answered by a sports psychologist - but here's my take.
I do think kids naturally have different temperaments. This temperament, coupled with a child's athletic aptitude and learned sports skills, strongly influence the child's overall sports performance.
We talk of athletes having a "killer" instinct, "scoring" mentality, "intangibles", playing with an unselfish attitude, or being "tough". These attributes reflect different mixes of the above factors.
I absolutely believe that showing a child how to be successful in a given sport instills confidence and self-esteem. This, in turn, typically leads to a child becoming more forceful and less fearful. As positive experiences and understood failures are consolidated into a base of experience, a child becomes both more resilient and aware of opportunities (e.g., "when to step up the intensity").
A few years back, in a predominantly boys league, I coached one 5th grade girl who had some natural athleticism, but was shy and unsure of her skills. As the season progressed and her skills improved, she became confident in her ability to compete. She played great defense, started taking her fair share of open shots, and became a forceful presence on the court. So I have seen first hand that a child's competitive attitude can be developed.
But it also does seem that certain young athletes have an inborn temperament that gives them an initial competitive advantage over other children. I've coached some boys and girls, who despite being younger and smaller, dominated their competition.
At older ages, I find myself tending to agree with the adage that sports don't build character, but instead reveal it.
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